Well there's been a bit of a drought on this here site lately. Luckily for YOU I have a new job. I now work at the MTC serving missionaries. You know what that means?? I work with people. Like 2500 of them.
I have a love/hate relationship with people. Minus the love.
They're so weird. People are weird. Weird and quirky and hysterical. Which means that more I interact with them the more I have STORIES. Brace yourself. It's been a long week.
Number one. Interacting with co-workers. Let me tell you about the wrap bar. It's a glorified subway worker position essentially. Apparently this impresses the dietetics board powers that be. "Oh you know how to roll a tortilla like a baby whisperer knows how to swaddle a newborn? BAM! ACCEPTANCE! Come into our program!" Someday my husband is going to wonder why his children look like chipotle burritos and I'm just going to shrug.
At the end of the wrap assembly line there's space for two people to wrap at a time. Now my dear friend and coworker _______ informed me at the beginning of the shift that the most polite thing to do is to slide down to the furthest end to make room for a second worker. Thank you ____ I'm SO glad you major in rocket science.
But ok, yeah yeah I can take a little advice. Though I may be snarky, I know logic isn't usually my strong point so I really did appreciate the tip. I tried to remember to move over, but sometimes I'd end up on the wrong side. And if you have no coping skills then this throws a wrench in the WHOLE SYSTEM AND CAUSES ALL HELL TO BREAK LOOSE. Hell in the MTC is a no-no. Coworker reminded me every. single. time. Not only did he do it with those awkward half smiles but occasionally he'd BEEP at me. As in, "beep beep, coming through. Beep beep I'm not actually able to communicate with reals words. Beep beep if I try to make it funny then maybe I won't seem OCD and annoying." Beep beep you're wrong bucko.
I PROMISE I will learn to move to the right place every time, in fact, I will practice at home if I need to. But in return can you please learn to cope and GO THE FETCH AROUND every once and awhile? I promise that's an equally effective reminder as a beep beep.
Number two. I learned that people will never believe hearing that we're out of something. Like this, "Would you like lettuce or mixed greens?" Person stares. "Spinach." Laughs. (Why do they always do the weird laugh?)
No. You see it was an either/or offer. As in these are the ONLY two choices. There is no third option. Sorry. This happened several times during the shift. Because I'm passive aggressive sometimes I'd simply give them the mixed greens. It has some spinach in it after all. Because I'm a people pleaser sometimes I'd pick the spinach out of the mixed greens. Unless I took the plate back and the person asked for more spinach than that. Then I resisted the urge to smack him/her and skimped on the sauce.
But I love it. The funny interactions help pass the time and I enjoy them, saving them as stories for later. Sometimes the missionaries do really funny things. They send back roses made out of napkins on their dish trays, along with thank you notes and pictures of dinosaurs. Or they turn on the charm and ask for extra food (we'd give it to them anyway, charm or no charm but the charm is always amusing.) Cute missionaries think they're so damn cute.
I can't wait to be on the other side of the serving line.