Thursday, September 6, 2012


Warning: my posts have become fetchin' long.  This brain just can't stop.  Probably if you only have a few minutes you shouldn't read this.  You'll best get the full hysterical effect if you're willing to devote some time to this bad boy.  No skimming.

I really debated about writing this, lest some of you start to think this is a boy blog.  Well here's what I say to that.  NEVER!  *gives sign to ward off the devil and spits.*   I mean really?  A blog all about boy drama?  Please bless.  No WAY.

But here's the thing.  It's just so dang funny.  To me anyway.  So if you don't laugh then probably there's something wrong with your sense of humor.  Mine's perfect.  Please try to change yourself into a perfect mold of me.  (That also means you'll probably gain a little poochiness around the abdominal area.  Apologies.)

So I decided to write about and share this.  It's the little moments I wanted to write about right?  The things that make an average life not-so-average.  I swear up and down and sideways and vertical and horizontal and SAGITTAL and CORONAL and TRANSVERSAL* that I'm not writing this to complain or get compliments or pity (oh gosh please no pity).  I just want to laugh about it.  Laugh laugh laugh.

Well I went out with this guy twice.  We'll call him ______ **insert Biblical reference here.  Once as a group date and then last weekend on a SINGLE date.  Apparently this is the one where decisions are MADE.  Such as: is this person who seemed normal around friends actually a complete weirdo?***  Such as: do I really want to continue to shell out mula and time and emotional strength to build any sort of relationship with this person?

We went on a bike ride - a tour of campus actually so I wouldn't keep getting completely lost and turned around.  Cute right?  And then we biked to a Peruvian restaurant where he proceeded to speak to the owner in Spanish.  (Swoon.  Well, mini swoon.  Like a sa-woon.)  The weather even co-operated.  It stopped raining just in time for us to go biking, rained while we were in the restaurant, and stopped again when we finished so we could bike home.  Doesn't that say FATE to you?

Overall it was fun.  He was kind of quiet - and so was I , but we talked enough and laughed and yeah.  No complaints.  He translated words into Spanish until I stumped him and then I made him do push-ups.  YOU GUYS.  I AM SUCH A FUN DATE.  Pay for me to eat (ahem: OUTeat you) and then I'll make you do push-ups.  WAY FUN.  But really.

Now when it comes to date drop off protocol, I have no idea what that even is.  Usually I manage a hug, drop my eyes (eye contact = so intimdating), and probably mumble something, IF I can get my brain to put together full sentences. I kind of waited for him to mention doing something again because I hate initiating it. I'm afraid of expressing unrequited interest (a valid fear as it turns out) and also of appearing too Forward.  It's like the cotton pickin' 1800's over here.

So I didn't say anything, he didn't say anything, and .. peace out.  What some of you may call a choke.  I resolved to try again thinking it was kind of my turn to initiate.  Sunday brought the perfect opportunity.    My roommates and I decided to try a cake recipe (soooooooooo domestic) which hey!  PERFECT excuse to hang out.  People like cake right?  I even texted him to make it more casual.  Totes cas. Not over-creepy I want to date you exclusively and get married and have your children clingy.  A few hours  later he responds "thanks for the invite but I have some ward stuff tonight."


Ward stuff?  Ward. Stuff.  Stuff.

Well so much for that.  I mean I could rationalize and say, maybe it was a meeting with the bishop!  Maybe he's planning the meeting and has to run it!  But in all reality: it was an excuse.  Rejection.  Which really, just strikes me as funny. Funny because I so overanalyzed everything, constructed the invitation text three or four times at least, asked the opinions of all my roommates.  And THEN!  Ward stuff.  Hahahahahahaha.  Sheesh.  Well sir, if nothing else, you missed out on some dang good peach pudding lemon glazed cake.****

Well I've moved on.  C Roll shared this quote with me: "you're at the biggest grocery store in the world.  Get shopping."

*Currently eating sleeping and dreaming my anatomy class.  Can anyone tell?  Anyone?

**Ang, remember how you wanted to stay updated on that one guy?  This is your update.

***hahahaha yes.  The answer is YES.

****Yeah I totally just dropped that to impress you with my baking skills.  I could RUN pinterest.

1 comment:

  1. *Reads first paragraph, sets down laptop, makes sandwich, comes back* blahaha