Monday, September 17, 2012

The Adventures of Billy. Part One.

So we meet again fair boy.

Let's start with an introduction about my accounting 200 class.  This is an auditorium sized room, filled to the brim with students.  Three hundred at least, honestly.  This is the girl that occasionally hides in the corner of the library during the ten minutes between classes because there's just so. many. people. Too many people crowding the halls and looking at me.  Stop that.  STOP IT!  So MUCH EYE CONTACT.  So. Much. Overwhelming.


Now this class starts at 8:00 every Tuesday and Thursday morning, which is, you know, probably doable for well-coordinated motivated people.  Read: not me.  And on this particular Thursday we were assigned seats for group work.  Which meant that there really was no way I could rationalize not washing my hair (especially since it'd been a day.. or so...) and putting on mascara AT LEAST.*  We were supposed to look up the seating chart the night before and memorize it.   Riiiiiiiiight.  My teacher also warned us that being late was not recommended because you'd have to walk in front of all five million people and find your seat and make people move and interrupt the teacher...

heh heh heh.  See where I'm going with this?

I really probably could have made it.  But I also have this running schedule which is supposedly going to get me ready for a half marathon.  And I printed it off the internet so it must be trustworthy. RIGHT? Right.  And it called for me to go on a long** run that day.  And here's the thing.  When it comes to things like this I'm not flexible at all.  I'm brick.  I'm the BYU honor code and I WILL NOT DEVIATE.  I must go running every day my omnipotent schedule mandates and I Must go the Corresponding Distance and I MUST go in the MORNING.  Because if I go at night in this big scary city probably I'll become a headline in the news.

So I figured that all I had to do was get up at six, because hey, run for a 45 minutes, then have 45 minutes+ to get ready = GOLDEN.  Six rolled around.  Then 6:05, then 6:15.... because I kept rationalizing, "no way.  I can totes run it faster than 45 minutes.  I fantasized this as I laid completely stationary in my very comfortable sleeping bag.*** That's also when I think I won't check facebook that day, or will talk to that one boy in my chem class.  I'm such a liar in the morning.

By the time I got up, ran, got ready, and left for class, I was doing that awkward jog every other step zombie gallop all the way to class (the furthest building away as it turns out).  And after running my legs into little stumps (ahem.  little-ER) that morning I still had to make it up the seven flights of stairs that stand in the way of my classes.

The point is: if you happened to be walking on campus and saw a really sweaty girl in yellow pants, cradling her thighs and wheezing/speed-walking with an especially pained looking grimace on her face, it was definitely Billy.

It was also Billy who arrived late to class, dripping lotion-sweat and walking from the 38th row to the correct seat in the 7th row.  And then when that person had to get back up two minutes later to pick up the handout back on the 38th row?  Still Billy.  Poor thing.

*you're proud right mom?  the EFFORT i GO to.
**long for ME ooookay?  As in, more than three miles.  Shut up.
***Normal.  More about that later probably.

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