Wednesday, October 24, 2012

All Things Pumpkin

You know what I love?  Pumpkin.  Everything pumpkin.  I started craving it at about 12:01 am October 1st and still haven't recovered.  I even planned an entire day around the purchase of a pumpkin cheesecake shake.  Which was well worth the time because it was quite possibly the most perfect shake I’ve ever had.  I’m serious.  I’m thinking back right now, reminiscing of my favorite moments of the semester and that’s the first thing that comes to mind.  And NOT because that was also trip that everyone took a bite a hamburger from the garbage can – although that moment holds a close second.  When I’m ninety years old and little snot nosed kids come to interview (and brighten the lonely lonely lives) of the elderly, I'm going to talk about that shake.  I’ll remember fondly until the drool floods out my dentures and there are a few more emotionally traumatized children in the world.

Clearly this set a high precedent for everything else pumpkin related, because while perfect in taste, it did nothing to satisfy my craving.  And this is where I’ll oh-so-kindly use years of experience and hard trials to bestow great wisdom upon you. 

A Guide to Surviving Pumpkin Related Foods

Sammy’s Pumpkin Cheesecake Shake?  Always good.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread, homemade?  Always.  Good.

Pumpkin Soup?  Pumpkin Bagel?  AWFUL.  DON'T DO IT.

This goes to show the depth of my craving.  Every food must now incorporate pumpkin.  Apparently my body wants to turn orange from all the beta-carotene I’m taking in.  Just in time for Halloween.  (What up Snooki costume?)  I don’t know what possessed me to make PUMPKIN SOUP, except that I had an extra can of pumpkin crap and a computer to research recipes and no time to grocery shop for real food.  Or maybe I had way too much time on my hands.  Either way, DON’T do it.  Even pinterest recipes might not be able to redeem that mess.

I may have deserved it, after all, the idea of it sounds kind of dumb from the start.  But don’t be seduced by the false wiles of the pumpkin bagel.  Sounds great in theory, right?  RIGHT.  At least, it did to me.  I’m telling you now it’s a letdown.  It’s a big fat piece-of-cardboard-disguised-by-smeared-chocolate-chips-and-orange-paint disappointment.

Life is so hard guys.

But now I’ve killed three posts with one:

-The gripe post
     -the food post (sorry there aren’t any picture of me posing adorably with delicious look eats)
      -The seasonal post?  Kinda?  Guys I love FALL! And the COLORS!  And my snuggly warm boots!

A good day’s work I’d say.  My clothes are right side out too.  Look out world!


  1. LIES! Pumpkin bagels are heaven sent. You spout blasphemy.

  2. you make me laugh! let's go get a pumpkin shake together, that sounds heavenly.