Friday, November 30, 2012

Weekend Words (It's Been Awhile)

The light comes gradually, much like the rising of the sun.  
You can discern the increase of light on the horizon but never all at once.  ...  
Sometimes receiving inspiration is like a foggy day.  
There's enough light that you can tell it's not darkness anymore.  
It's not night.  
But it's not brilliantly illuminated.  
You can see just enough to take a few steps ahead into the cloudiness.  ... 
There's enough to take just a few steps.
And then the light continues ... just far enough to press forward.

David A Bednar

Full video here

This inspiration, this light, that comes so gradually isn't only related to spiritual matters in the stereotype of things spiritual.  It's also related to taking a few more steps when I run.  
It's a few more minutes productively studying.  
It's the slow replacement of apathy with passion.  
It's a little more peace with myself - the way I look.  
It's a little bit better lesson plan.  
It's a few more confused minutes as I try to understand questions that seem to have no clear cut answers - but at least I'm looking, at least I'm thinking, at least I'm trying.  
And it's a few more pieces of understanding, of becoming, creating, developing. 
Sometimes it's not getting lost a second time on the way to work.  
And sometimes it's getting lost even worse than two weeks before, only this time having the courage to ask for help sooner.  

All I'm saying is I think there's hope that someday the willpower will come.  Someday I won't even need willpower because it will be second nature.  Someday the confidence will replace the fears and insecurities.  And maybe that someday is today.  Just a little.  Just a degree.  But today.

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