Thursday, October 18, 2012

I Hope. I Hope. (Though I Never Grew a Foot or Two)

Just a small announcement.

Sike it's a HUGE announcement. 

 I'm going on a mission.  

I thought my whole life I'd go.  But then as I got old enough to actually think about submitting papers (that was pre-conference aahbviously) I started to really freak out and change my mind.  There was so much stuff that seemed to get in the way.  I wanted to be a camp counselor in the summer.  I'd just barely transferred schools - could I really leave again so soon?  I wanted to study abroad.  Did I really want to leave and come back at 23?  That's so old, and probably I'd be super awkward and UNMARRIED.  (I hate that that factored into my thinking but it did.)  So I've been trying to make this decision for a few months now.  Finally after a lot of committed serious prayers, I was sitting in accounting class (of all things) and I just knew.  Then I sent my mom this four word email:

Subject line: mission

Content: "i'm going.  I'm GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 

I'm over the moon about it.  If I could leave tomorrow I would.  Seriously.  I told my Bishop that when I met with him on Tuesday.  I seriously considered setting my availability for the day after finals and Lizzie's wedding.  But after some more prayer and a talk with Mama C-Roll (she's always right) I think I'm going to set my availability for after winter semester.  May 2.  Which means I won't be able to actually submit my papers and get my call until January (You can't submit until 120 days before your availability date).  Painful.  I just want to go.  Seven months seems too far away to bear.  It's funny how before I couldn't imagine taking that time out of my life, a mission just seemed logistically impossible.  But now I can't imagine not going.  I never looked back.  Every worry I had before just... fell away.  I'm still sad about things I'll miss, but I know that this is the right thing for me right now.  My only regret is that I didn't make the decision earlier.  

So that's that.  If you come to my farewell, brace yourself because you'll probably hear about this all over.  And I'll be making the joke about never growing a foot or two.  Do your best to forget about it ok?  Or just practice your pity laugh - and it better by realistic.  

I guess this means the DI is going to be receiving a lot of my not-exactly-sleazy-but-perhaps-a-touch-short shorts and skirts.  If you want anything you best come over and claim it now.

Bring on the ultra conservative clothes.  I'm ready.  

I'll go where you want me to go, Dear Lord.  

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