Sunday, March 3, 2013


I think I have a problem you guys.  I'm staging my own intervention.  With myself.  Thanks Self.  You're the best.  And your hair is growing out so nicely!  Psych.  You look like a fetching mullet gone wrong.  But that is not the point of this post.

The point is, you have an unhealthy obsession with wearing men's outdated clothes, and thriving on compliments about them.  Someone said they liked your jean jacket?  Do NOT triumphantly declare (in your head or otherwise) "THANKS!  It was my DAD'S!  TWENTY YEARS AGO!  People do not care.  They do not care and likely they think you're a freak for 1) happily admitting such a thing and 2) for wearing that outfit in the first place.  The same goes for his socks, his shoes, and multiple items purchased from the DI.  Did I mention people don't care?  Oh I did?  Good.  Because not only do they not care, but there's a very good chance they don't actually mean any of the compliment.

There's two kinds of compliments you see.  There's the sincere compliment (rarely given) and the stuff people say trying to make their words sound like a compliment when in reality, what you're doing/saying/wearing is so completely embarrassing that they feel awkward for you and all the stares you're getting.  Thus, they try to diffuse the pathetic situation by addressing the elephant in the room (YOU) and making it seem admirable somehow.  You know this.  You've watched this happen between OTHER people.  But when it comes to you, well then, all bets are off.  Because you tend to not be able to read any social cues when it comes to yourself.  Your sad sad naive self tends to think that every word people say, every gem that falls from their mouths is completely sincere and honest.  We call this Papa Jim syndrome.  You walk away from every interaction thinking, "MAN.  That person is SO NICE."  Unless they just killed your dog and tripped you.  Then you think, "Well they probably had a hard day, maybe someone forced them to commit murder.  And as for the trip, well that was pretty funny wasn't it?  What a great sense of humor."

While this innocence may be endearing to some, it's really messing up your sense of reality.  As in, you have none.


Why do you get such a perverse pleasure from it anyway?  Are you trying to flaunt some societal norm?  Listen, I'm not asking you to wear a sock bun or black leggings with tall brown boots or anything else worn by seemingly every.  fetching.  female. at BYU.  Go ahead, flaunt some style or whatever you call it.  But ENOUGH with the bragging about outdated mens clothes.

Grace please come back into my life.

Trust me, your future self (there's quite a lot of these "selfs" aren't there?  have you checked your meds lately?) will thank you.

I'm glad we had this little talk.

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